I am so ripped.

"The future that we hold is so unclear... but I'm not alive until you call."

Or text. Whatevs. :p

Seriously, I don't know what to think anymore. All I know is this has to stop, or else I won't ever have the strength to do the right thing. (Charot.)

I was perfectly fine playing the depress-depressan drama when you didn't greet me first thing on my birthday. (Nag-eexpect kasi, lol.) I even tweeted, para feel na feel.

Ang OA ko rin eh noh. Hahaha. Anyway, that should have been the perfect ending to this tragedy. But you just had to ruin it, by making me smile again. (Charot.)

(I'm not 29 yet, by the way. He just thought it was funny because he's corny like that. He once made an acronym for this common friend that we had, just to make fun of his complexion. What a jerk.)

He has no f**king clue what effect he has on me, so I just go and make him feel like I don't ever want to let him in -- because he can't, because it's not right, because he's my friend, and because he's so f**king perfect! 

I'd rather let him torture me with his absence than be close to him. He's been what I wanted him to be and I'm happy just being the "girl na friend", so can't we just stay that way forever? Whatever is wrong with being just friends?

We're not even close. We probably never will be. I'm used to it and I'm fine with it, because I thrive in the agony of not knowing. And you probably won't understand because you're amazing and sh*t.

Whatever. I don't know. All I know is, in the words of Radiohead:

"You're so f**king special... and I'm a creep." >_<