How do I unlike you?

What the what?!

When you say 'Bye' to him after one of those random conversations, and then you go to sleep and you get this first thing in the morning, and it hits something in you somewhere, you just know.

You won't give him any reason to leave you alone and you'll be overthinking about everything he says for the rest of your "friendship" until one of you just ruins "it".

Steven Yeun gets it. Whenever he sees someone he likes, he envisions every step in their hypothetical relationship until he gets to a point where he imagines their babies. 

Not that I imagine that with him, because I'm a cynic and I don't think I'll ever get to that point without thinking of a hundred worst case scenarios first... but come to think of it, he's got the height, and the complexion, and the facial features, so any girl would be lucky to have babies with him. Plus, he's a dork. Our babies could be geniuses! LOL

Anyway... Where was I? See? Overthinking. 

And it's not like we haven't known each other for years. It's not like he hasn't seen me embarrass myself a hundred times with my awkwardness. We are, after all, friends. Now I wonder if it was like this before and I was just so distracted to notice, or if it's different now, as I'd like to believe it is. Then again, why is he all of a sudden in the spotlight?

I know it doesn't mean anything, because I've met enough guys like him to know what he is. But despite that, I still want to read the random texts. I still want to know what he's watching. I still want to be asked if I've seen the latest Star Wars lightsaber. I still want to be the first to know what he's recently discovered about his fave TV shows, albeit all of them I've already known for years (because he's seriously THAT outdated, lolwth).

I want to be asked personal questions and then not answer them because we're not "close". I want to keep wondering what his face is like when he texts me "Good night." I want to keep making him feel like I want nothing from him when it's obviously otherwise. (Not obvious to him, but, you know.)

All I want is for him to be the mystery he's always been to me. And then, when I'm finally able to, just let him disappear from my life forever.

But then again... 

When you get this first thing on New Year's, and you hate him so much for calling you that... Oh, whatever.

How, oh how, do I ever unlike you? @_@