since i don't have you...

You know what I'd desperately want to do right now? Make a CLONE of you, including everything I love, like, adore, desire(!), as well as everything I despise about YOU -- e.g. your beautiful eyes that make my heart melt everytime you see through me -- and place him right beside me so that I would never have to miss YOU and your toxic presence ever again.

I'm so f**king caught between trying so hard to forget you and being contentedly happy with just dwelling on our "memories." Pictures of you (when we were still an "US") on my mind are just so f**king perfect that I dare not try to miss each moment even if it means being insanely fixated on a mere MEMORY... A fantasy, a daydream, a crappy suntok-sa-buwan-na-pangarap. SHET!!

If somebody could just ever replace you and everything you do to me! Then I'd never have to be ranting about these again... But deep inside, I know. There could never be anyone as PATIENT, as KIND, as INTELLIGENT, as COOL, as ARROGANT, as PLAYFUL, as SEXY, and as HANDSOME (err.. haha!) as the only person that I've ever truly loved. That is, YOU. How, oh how, did we ever end up like this? Everything sucks, "since I don't have you." Everything f**king sucks...


"Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I MISS YOU..." T_T

ode to the dark

The stillness of night invites me to linger
Within this gift of solitude we're given
A lustful realm of malice--a haven
Of wildest schemes I could only dream ever!

The dimness enchanting, conniving with moonlight,
Revealing that visage I've hungered to see
And those lips--God, those LIPS!--exist just to tempt me
Of this urge to explore more of you tonight...

The cool breezy air entwines that sweet scent
From thy breath... Now I've been helpless, yet gladly I give in
To seek through all means thy warmth from within.
And at long, long last here comes: our opportune moment...

Every inch of you now seems heavenly
As every strength left of me burns with agony...
From the profoundest longing to be with you
And tonight, here in the dark... To TOUCH you. =D

seven years

I am but a shadow--of YOU, my love...
Ever so close, yet hopelessly so far.
Like the crater is to a shooting star,
Just there--waiting--to catch you from above.
Your merest glimpse was all I'd ever need
To fathom thus the gravest sin I know:
That's being a GIT, for letting you go.
For love's both a gift and a curse indeed:
Your mem'ry leaves me with nothing but bliss
Yet clear as that face that wades through my dreams,
Will truth be as vague, for light-years--it seems.
Tell me how long shall I succumb to this?
For life is nearly nothing without you.
And truth of all truths is: I STILL LOVE YOU. :)

"ambut"

Do you know that when you smile,
It gives me strength to suffice for the whole effing day?

When you say the simplest "thank you" for some Botany cheat,
It makes me feel like I'm the kindest nerd alive!

When you ask me things that, most often than not, don't involve you or me,
Meaningless as they may seem,
To me, they do make the most sense. ^_^

Do you know how much they so lure me into daydreams,
Of YOU and me, alone, together, in "genuine" conversation?

When you try to let me teach you,
When you make me feel like I'm your only hope...
I lose my nerve and say things I'm really not bound to say
And then I end up with the lamest lines, like...
"AMBUT." =p

Do you know that when blood rises up to your face to reveal how embarrassed you are,
I feel the same way, and at times even worse?

I don't know what these might mean
But perhaps the infatuation still is ALIVE.
And I don't know why it's YOU, of all people.
But I'm sure you ain't the wrong guy.
Perhaps you're just... WEIRD.

WEIRD, but CUTE. :)