Tama ka, you were just a waste of time... A waste of my time and space and efforts and feelings and memories and LOVE!
I don’t care what you think or feel or say or do anymore. Gago ka. GAGO!
Wag mong sabihing may concern ka o kung ano pa mang bullshit yan. Tama ka, wala kang kwenta. Buti alam mo, t*ng*na mo.
For the first time in my life, I’m actually feeling something other than love for you. Something you are actually deserving of.
Akala ko noon kahit di ako maka-move on, OK lang. Na kahit di tayo parehas ng nararamdaman, ayus lang basta’t andyan ka. Ngayon naisip ko, hindi naman talaga tayo pwedeng maging friends lang forever. Hindi ko kaya.
Di ko kayang maging kasing-insensitive mo.
Pero naisip ko din: yan pala ang tunay na ikaw.
Tama ka, hindi na kita kilala. And that these feelings I have are for the person I loved 10 years ago. Tama ka, as you always have been.
I was in love with the person who always did everything for me, who always forgave me, who was always patient with me, who never said and did anything to hurt me, and who gave the most fricking damn about me.
Yes that might have been true but God knows how utterly patient I have been to have waited this long and to have loved the person who was the exact opposite. I loved you despite the changes. I loved you no matter what. I loved YOU and you alone.
10 years! Geez, I’ve been an idiot for 10 years!! Frig.
However, I’ve already gone through all the hurt and humiliation, self-pity and all that crap for 10 years. Pagod na ako.
Andami kong pinalampas na chances because of you. I always thought of you and how you’d feel. But you never really gave a shit about me. Once again, tama ka: WALA KA NGANG KWENTA.
I never regretted ever loving you or having known you in the first place. To me, you were the most perfect person I’ve ever met.
But now as I contemplate about it, if I’d be given a chance to go back in time when you first asked me to give you a chance, I would—with all the insensitivity I could muster and notwithstanding the friendship which I once never wanted to lose—just utterly dismiss the idiotic idea and say NO. I won’t think of you and your goddamn feelings, I won’t feel the slightest sympathy for you, I won’t even be friends with you to begin with. And then I would have spared myself 10 years of pointless misery.
Nagsisisi ako. Nagagalit ako. Wala nang natitirang magagandang alaala sa isipan ko na nais ko pang balikan. Siguro nga isang-isa na lang ang kulang: to get rid of the love.
I don’t know how long it would take but I’m glad I’m finally taking this road towards moving on. I will replace all the bitterness with hope. And channel all the love to the people who are most worthy of receiving it. Family and friends and if by any chance he finds me, to the new HIM. (Pero matagal-tagal pa siguro yun, haha!)
For now, cheers to a new beginning!! ^_^
